Over the last little while I have had the privilege of working closely with clients in a “coaching” role- imparting my knowledge, support and occasional wisdom with regards to clients lifestyle and body goals.
Most people arrive as a big ball of flustered enthusiasm and are literally ready to change the world (well their world at least). This is great! It makes my job easier because when clients simply follow their plan- whether that be exercise or nutrition (or both)- they achieve their goals- the body of their dreams. If only it were that easy…
One of the more common emails I receive from clients read something like this: “Well, you see, I kinda had to- couldn’t get out of, was forced to, got tied up and may or may not have been force fed that piece of cake on the weekend” Plus Anthony “you don’t understand!- I really felt like I was missing out!!”
I suppose what I am trying to say is, if you are getting physically restrained and forced to eat yummy treats, stop reading this now and either a) call the cops, or b) thank your lucky stars- depending on which way you look at it J Seriously though, if you are currently dieting or following a healthy eating plan and feel like you are “missing out” or fell deprived in some way, keep reading…
First and foremost what is food to you? Is food a reward? Perhaps for a hard day at work? Maybe food is an outlet for stress? Or, is food a celebration? According to our society of course it is! You have probably been invited to 5 different events this week (birthdays, parties, functions) that are all centered around food and drink, the more special the occasion the fancier the food and drink. Does this make it ok to succumb to the norm though?
As a baby you used to cry, when you cried, what did your mother do? She gave you a bottle! When you weren’t hungry anymore she gave you a dummy. So long before you could talk or walk you had already learnt that the way to deal with stuff that came up for you is to eat stuff….yummy stuff.
So your 5 years old and you are celebrating your birthday, what is the must have for your party? A massively big super pimped up birthday cake, and when you left said party you got what? A LOLLY BAG! (this is great, I got rewarded with food…again!) Now you are all grown up and instead of birthday parties at Sally’s place its “wine and cheese with the girls” or “coffee and cake” with Mum- because its our Friday afternoon ritual, its what we do to reward ourselves after a big week, that makes sense…right? What a great reason to celebrate! Lets all go and celebrate!! YAY FOR DIABETES AND YAY FOR BEING THE FATTEST, MOST MORBIDLY OBESE COUNTRY IN THE WORLD! YAY!!
An extreme view? Yes it is, but the point I am trying to get at is that while we cant escape societies ideas about food and celebration, we CAN change the way we view our food, and why we eat it! (Note: this same thinking applies to negative events in our lives exactly the same way as celebrating eg; rough day at work, relationship problems etc- eat a whole lot of junk or “drown your sorrows”.)
First and foremost food is ENERGY! No more and no less. We require food to ensure we have enough energy to get up and live out the day, combining certain amounts of different foods will ensure we do this effectively and efficiently. THAT’S IT! At the end of the day, that’s as complicated as our relationship with food needs to be.
View your food as fuel, because that’s what it is- would you fill your car up with a fuel that you knew would result in it running terribly or breaking down? (of course not!) So why do you do it to your body with food? And why the hell do you feel like you are “missing out” on this??
The reason the vast majority of us do this is because we have an emotional connection with our food- which sadly for many ends up being stronger than our real desires which are to be healthy and feel comfortable in our bodies. I’ll get into emotional eating in another blog but for now lets look at how to let go of that feeling of deprivation.
First and foremost, don’t view yourself as being on a “diet”- although it shouldn’t, societal influence suggests this word implies restriction and will automatically have you feeling deprived. As long as you are “dieting” and forcing your body to only eat certain foods you will feel restricted and deprived.
Instead, look at your healthy eating as a “lifestyle choice” a conscious decision to reach and then maintain whatever goal is important to you. Once you cross this mental line, you are no longer “dieting” in the regular sense, you are choosing to eat clean simply because that is what you do, because you know the reward outweighs the temptation. I promise that when you reach this point it is truly empowering, and food is no longer restrictive.
· Ask yourself, “Am I really missing out”? What exactly are you missing out on?
· Use consequential thinking- “If I splurge now, will I really feel better?” “How will I feel afterwards? Or when I weigh myself in the morning?”
· Is it really worth it?
· Be sure to include a regular “treat” meal where you can enjoy your favourite unhealthy foods guilt free. Plan for, delay your gratification and look forward to these relaxed meals. Savour it and pay attention to your body afterwards. for more info on "cheat" or "treat" meals click here http://www.exquisitephysiques.blogspot.com.au/2011/10/have-your-cake-and-eat-it-too-by.html
Many people feel as though they cant be social anymore after starting a clean eating plan- and at first your friends may even poke fun at your attempt to change your lifestyle, when this happens stick to your plan, in time they will be humbled by your new body and discipline and ask you for help on their own journey! How many times have you sat around a restaurant table and heard the words “I wish I could be as good/strict as you, how do you do it?” (perhaps you have even said it yourself)
(for tips regarding eating out wirthout blowing out read my previous blog here) http://www.exquisitephysiques.blogspot.com.au/2011/06/dieting-while-out-of-routine-by-anthony.html)
Now this is going to sound harsh but WAKE UP TO YOURSELF! There is NOTHING you “cant” or are “not allowed” to eat! You could live on a diet of greasy pad thai, pork crackling and condensed milk if you like- nobody is stopping you and sadly global marketing encourages it. You have made the decision to eat clean and healthy foods because this is WHAT YOU WANT! Remember? If you forgot- Go on, go and eat the block of chocolate or get take away on the way home and see what happens…. you will feel rubbish afterwards for two reasons- a) because its unhealthy and your body doesn’t like it and b) because you are going against your own values and goals! You decided to be healthy because it is important to you!
The next time you feel like you are missing out when it comes to food, tell yourself “I CHOOSE not to eat XYZ because it is not in line with my goals” It may sound silly, but with time it will really work. Make the right choices one by one, each time you stick to your goals you get that little bit stronger (empowered) and it creates a domino effect. Until the day comes where temptation arises and you say to yourself “you know what? I don’t want that chocolate bar” Or you no longer care about the people at work calling you a “health freak” simply because you have won the battle in your mind and are living in accordance with your true values.
Remember that you are the chooser, and it’s your choice as to whether or not you feel like you are missing out. So when you are next out and that internal dialogue of “should I? Why cant I just indulge like everyone else?” comes up, make the choice to NOT “be like everyone else” and choose your health and happiness over a soon to be forgotten celebratory meal. What an amazing, freeing and totally incredible feeling.
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